The Lucky Ones

New experiences contain aspects of both a blessing and a curse.  They add to one's knowledge, but subtract from one's innocence.  I suppose it all depends on a person's perspective as to whether the loss of security that innocence provides has been outweighed by the value of the knowledge gained.  For some people, living well comes from doing things as they have always done because it creates comfort. The maintenance of this contentment ranks at the top of their priorities. For others, true living occurs only when growth happens consistently.  Comfort doesn't seem to be as much of a concern as gathering more knowledge and developing a deeper understanding of the world around them.


For the comfort-seekers, a certain level of innocence must be constantly maintained.  Because devout belief provides an emotional and mental safety net of sorts, it allows a person to hold certain ideas to be inviolate, unshakable and permanent.  And in knowing that certain aspects of one's existence remain immutable, a person finds comfort, security, and a sustained level of contentment.  In my opinion, sustaining this security usually comes at the cost of sheltering oneself from new thoughts, ideas, and experiences. 


Knowledge-seekers usually live with a higher level of emotional and mental discomfort because they consistently integrate new ideas into their understanding of themselves and of the world in general.  Constantly striving to know more creates a life in which one never has a firm grasp on "The Truth" about things.  These type of people sacrifice the kind of peace that devout belief gives a person.  However, knowing myself to be this way, increased knowledge is more than worth the price of being unsettled.


The lucky ones in the world combine both aspects of comfort-seekers and knowledge-seekers.  They have at some point uncovered certain immutable truths about things, but still remain open to new thoughts, ideas, and experiences.  They carry with them on their journeys of discovery nuggets of security.  These people possess both a centeredness and an openness that I envy.  I am really working towards defining my own cores of immutable understanding but it has proven difficult.  Last Autumn I felt as if I had gotten very close to "knowing" some things to be true.  Over the course of the past year, however,  I've encountered so many new things about myself and others that I feel further away from understanding than ever.


I have this feeling that I am destined to be unsettled for a long time.  I am used to living this way, but some days, like today, I wish I were more of a devout believing comfort-seeker.  Searching can make a person tired. Nevertheless, I don't see me changing my personality any time soon, so I will continue to live with my eyes, mind, and heart wide open.  One thing I do know to be true at this point, however, is that I will one day be one of the "lucky ones."  Of that I have no doubt.