I had my official observation today as part of my evaluation of my ability to teach. My lesson centered on defining opportunity cost and evaluating resource allocation with cost-benefit analyses. I tried my best to follow the style and format mandated by the district and I think, for the most part, I did alright. Nevertheless, I can tell already what areas will be targeted for improvement and what areas will be listed as strengths. If anything, I am pretty introspective about and fairly critical of the work I produce, and I constantly think about how I could be more efficient and more effective. I am open to constructive criticism and consistently try to improve my performance in the class room. However, I often struggle with trying to balance what my district views as a good teacher and what I believe is a good teacher.
I know that I have a prodigious amount of knowledge regarding American history, government and economics. Off the top of my head, I can answer almost any question about those subjects with depth, clarity, and detail. Content knowledge is definitely one of my greatest strengths. I am also strong in class room management and discipline. My students are invariably well-behaved. This too, is a strength.
Likewise, I know my area of greatest weakness. I am not well-versed on current pedagogy. Most of what I do in regard to teaching methodology I learned in my education classes, from expert teachers I worked with, or I developed through trial and error in the class room. I'll be the first to admit that I am not up-to-date on the most recent procedures and theories of classroom management or instruction. I try to be the district's "good" teacher and if one were to ask me to detail a lesson plan with anticipatory sets, closures, overt and covert thinking, imbedded assessment, aligned with common core state standards while using positive behavioral intervention strategies, I could do that-- just probably not very well.
I have my own ideas about methodology and procedure and they often don't follow current trends precisely. The thing about being current on new theories and procedures is that, in my opinion, a lot of them are variations on old themes. A lot of "new" ideas are just recycled old ideas in modern packaging. If the old version and language works and has been proven effective, why take the time to master the new version? To me, this is a monumental waste of time. Time that could be spent in a more productive fashion.
Many of these theories also would work well in a perfect world with perfect students, but the neither the world nor children are perfect. Especially when you teach in an alternative setting that serves students who don't fit well into the normal structure of public education. If fitting square pegs into round holes worked, my students wouldn't be attending my school. So perfecting strategies meant for the masses wastes time as well. I want to spend my time and energy on my students because they need it more than they need me to be expertly versed in pedagogical theory.
Because so many of my students have a history of some sort of trauma, it's imperative to create an environment that is welcoming, safe, and comfortable. This takes time and energy to manifest well. Another necessary aspect is building relationships with the students. There must be a consistent interaction of respect and acknowledgment that makes the students feel worthy, valued, and recognized, especially if they are going to learn anything meaningful in my classes. This also takes sustained conscious effort and time. In addition, students have to be given multiple opportunities for success, even the smallest of successes, so that they can change their personal narratives. Most of my students struggle with negative ideas about their intelligence, their ability to learn, their social skills, and their capacity for adding value to the world around them. Having real opportunities for success paired with authentic praise for that success can profoundly change how a child views him/herself and thus positively impact their learning ability.
I always keep in mind the idea so well-expressed by Maya Angelou with her quote, "At the end of the day people won't remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel." I want my students to feel as if they matter, as if what they choose to do matters to the world, as if they could do anything they want to and to do it well. This all takes time, effort, and dedication. All of which would be diminished if I had to direct my attention to acquiring and fully applying "new" pedagogical practices.
Therefore, I am perfectly okay with my lack of expertise on trendy methodology and theories. I would much rather spend my time on what's really important for my students--teaching the whole person. Teaching them to love themselves, to value themselves. Teaching them to be resilient, confident, and sentient. Teaching them that they are worthy and worthwhile to this world. Teaching them ways that can help them develop into well-rounded, motivated, productive, and happy individuals. I am okay with being average in pedagogical form and practice. It is an opportunity cost I am willing to bear. I'd much rather allocate my resources to my students' growth and well-being than to my evaluation. At the end of the day, they are the most important things in education, and I am going to devote my resources, efforts, and time into helping them become the best versions of themselves they can possibly be.
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