Lessons in Karaoke: Listening Skills

We definitely hear things, but do we really listen?

I went to karaoke last night with my best friend.  I actually didn't want to go, but felt compelled to be her wing man.  She has the serious hots for a man who also goes to karaoke frequently. Therefore, after longingly eyeballing my pajamas and new novel, I reluctantly got dressed, grabbed my purse and headed out in the rainy night to have a beer, sing a few songs, and hopefully help her further her budding relationship with "the dude".

After spotting her prey, we got our drinks and sat down, and chatted about a variety of things, but primarily "the dude." Growing a bit tired of the conversation, I watched people entering the bar and my attention focused for a few minutes on a group of eight loud, drunken men.  They lost my interest rapidly as they moved to a corner of the bar near the pool tables and proceeded to challenge one another to a punching bag competition.  From that point, the evening proceeded smoothly as we sang, visited with bar friends and laughed quite a bit. As my friend went to get two more beers and flirt with "the dude", I fiddled with my phone, unaware that all hell had suddenly broken loose next to the karaoke stage.  A full-on,  Thursday night, alcohol and machismo induced bar fight happened and I had front row seats.  

I think at least twelve or thirteen people were involved in hitting each other, throwing punches and bar stools, yelling, and posturing. The group of drunken men at the punching bag had a few moments earlier begun to hassle another group of young men playing pool. The ensuing fight would have been comically cliche and rather entertaining if people hadn't gotten hurt, but one poor man was blindsided by a chair causing a large gash on his forehead and another unfortunate soul managed to find himself stabbed in the arm.  After the bartender announced the imminent arrival of the police, the group of men who started the fight scattered and ran out the door.  Along the way, one of them threw a gun onto the roof of the building.  I only discovered that nugget of lovely information after the arrival of the authorities who questioned each bar patron as to what they had witnessed.  

After the initial excitement of the fight and it's aftermath waned, I grew irritated with being unable to go home until the police finished their investigation.  As my annoyance built up, I became even angrier at the idea that these so-called "men" entered this fun, outgoing place where regulars enjoy each other's company and good music, with knives and guns and stupidity in mass quantities.  How dare they violate the sanctity of karaoke with chips on their shoulders, alcohol-induced bravado, and a desire to fight? Their mere presence threatened the safety of everyone in the building and I resented them for having placed me and my friends in a dangerous situation.

Physical violence solves nothing.  Being strong enough to hurt another person doesn't prove someone's worth or value.  It doesn't make you a big man or an important woman.  A person who uses strength to injure someone intentionally and for no good reason only indicates a distinct and fundamental weakness in that person's character.  It also shows a profound lack of intelligence.  As Confucius once said, "He who throws the first punch, admits he lost the argument."  If a person provokes a heated situation through words and cannot resolve it through words, then it illustrates an inability to think properly and deeply in my opinion. In sum, those men were drunken idiots who had no concern for anything or anyone but their all-consuming machismo and male pride.  Seriously, how stupid is that?

I planned to categorize this entry under a "Lessons in Karaoke" theme, but I am still trying to figure out what I learned last night.  Maybe it's a few things I already knew like testosterone and alcohol don't mix, stupid is as stupid does, or when everything is telling you to stay home and read a book, I should stay home and read a book. I think the last one might truly be the best lesson of all.  If gut instinct whispers to you, tells you, or actually yells at you to do something, you probably should follow it's directions.  People always discount their intuitive feelings, looking for more rational explanations. They should definitely develop better listening skills. I suppose I should too.  I firmly believe we have instinct for a reason and that we should listen to it, but I completely ignored my own last night and ended up in the midst of a tawdry and dangerous bar fight.  If I had paid closer attention to my instinct, I would have enjoyed a quiet night in my fuzzy jammies, sipping a hot cup of coffee, and reading a compelling novel.  Instead, I put myself in a potentially seriously dangerous situation, and came home too late, exhausted from stupidity and miffed at the general dumbness of drunken men.  

From here on out, if I get a niggling sensation telling me to do something, I am going to listen much more closely to it.  I guess karaoke did teach me something last night, or at the very least reinforced a lesson I already knew to be true.  And on another up note, my friend made further progress with "the dude." I have a strong instinct that that particular endeavor will yield good results and fortunately, it's one feeling I am happy to listen to.