I went to karaoke last night for the first time in about a month. My sister's invitation to meet her there proved to be more of a rescue mission than an actual call for my company. Recently divorced, she has started to go on casual dates for dinner, drinks, or coffee. She went to dinner last night with a new friend and afterwards, he asked if she'd like to go to karaoke. My sister, who loves to sing, readily accepted even though she had deemed dinner conversation to be less than stellar. Already "not feeling" this particular date, she decided that she would have back up at the bar...namely, me. After hasty arrangements with J.T. to put the kids to bed, I gussied up and went to the bar.
Part of me really wanted to go because I enjoy singing too. The other part, the one that was solidly frozen by the time I arrived, wished I had stayed at home toasty warm by the fire. When I entered the establishment and found only a handful of unfamiliar people as well as my sister and her date, it only reinforced my regret for leaving the house. I made a beeline for my sister's table and politely introduced myself to her friend. Almost immediately I realized why she had asked me to join them, this dude completely bored me by the time I finished shaking his hand. I had expected some troglodyte to be seated next to my sibling, but even troglodytes exhibit more energy and verve than this guy. I tried to engage him in conversation, but his lack of personality and interest made it impossible. I looked at my sister, shrugged my shoulders as if to say "I tried rescuing you, but this particular ship is definitely going down."
So, with the limited and awkward conversation available at my sister's side, I decided to go stand in the atrium area to have a cigarette and wait my turn to sing. The five or six people out there huddled around a space heater and chatted with each other. I moved my way in and made my hellos, but primarily remained silent as I listened to them talk. Their conversations amused me due to their youthfulness and their level of intoxication. I sat back and just watched them, remembering what life had been like for me in my early twenties. I inwardly laughed at hoping I didn't sound like them at that age, and knowing I so totally did.
This one young lady, obviously right around 21 years old kept making flirtatious advances with one guy on her left. He obviously showed interest in her as well. With clear skin, light brown hair and blue eyes enhanced with skillfully applied makeup, she had a pretty face and a decent figure. She could have attracted the attention of almost anyone in the bar, and someone by far better looking and more interesting than the fellow she currently entertained. This man had to have been at least a decade older than her, and not very well-preserved. His top front teeth had somehow disappeared, he looked like he weighed all of 120 pounds soaking wet, and his pink pate could be seen through thinning, graying hair. All of that would have been okay, however, had his personality compensated somewhat for his appearance. Unfortunately, this dude made arrogant, misogynistic remarks the entire time thinking that they made him charming and witty. He seemed the type of blowhard that makes everything about himself grandiose and spectacular just to hide how inadequate he feels. In sum, he annoyed the hell out of me. She just lapped it up though like mother's milk, and I wondered what she could possibly see in him. When she took another sip of her drink, it came to me....this poor girl had on some seriously strong beer goggles.
I don't care who you are, if you've been drunk before at any point in your life, you have worn the beer goggles. Everything is brighter, shinier, funnier, wittier, sexier, more beautiful, more exciting, and eminently sensible. This poor girl, I could tell already, would find this man irresistible by the end of the evening and more than likely wake up in the morning asking herself, "What the hell was I thinking?" I could see it methodically unfolding before me, like a paint-by-numbers picture of dogs playing poker. It was just as tacky and gaudy as a velvet Elvis portrait...an impulse buy soon regretted.
I thought about trying to save this poor girl from herself and almost interjected myself into their grope and tickle session. I was just about to take her aside and say something when the DJ called my name to sing. I stubbed out my cigarette, grabbed my beer and went inside giggling to myself. I laughed at the absurdity of it, the commonness of it, and how everyone has their beer goggle moments they would rather forget. As I passed my sister's table, however, I definitely made sure to see what drink she had been indulging in, and I was definitely very happy to see it had been ice water the entire time.
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