Resolutions and F-Bombs

res·o·lu·tion  (rz-lshn)

n.

1. The state or quality of being resolute; firm determination.

2. A resolving to do something.

3. A course of action determined or decided on.

Being determined about something can be an exhilarating experience...people actually become high with the idea of potential and the possibility of upcoming greatness in the  year ahead.  We all engage in those grand thoughts, wanting to become this idealized version of ourselves, and for a few moments, we profoundly believe that we can become whomever we choose to be.  Can you feel the energy of all the promised potential this week? Millions upon millions of human beings right this very moment are contemplating how to become better, faster, stronger, sharper, smarter, happier, more loving, more generous, more centered people.  I like this week of planning resolutions, much more than the actual execution of the resolutions, because everything feels so positive. The things that can be are often more pleasing than the things that are.

Enacting the resolutions constitutes the difficult part of the process.  Most people usually last about a week with maintaining their motivation if they are lucky, and then slip back into their old habits and routines.  I am guilty of this myself.  Every year I make the same resolution and every year I fail.  Within three days, I have fallen off the wagon so badly, I refuse to get back on and just tell myself that I will try again next year.  I think I actually experience a little relief when I do truly blow it, because that means I can go back to doing what I enjoy without feeling too guilty about it.

My resolution regards my yearly vow to stop using curse words. I have this little secret, which isn't so little and not so secret.  Most people who have been around me for any length of time know I have a tendency to swear.  I love profanity.  It feels good.  When I am angry, I let a litany of highly-crafted invectives fly from my mouth like winged serpents hell-bent on destruction.  I love the way it feels when they slip out of my mouth on a tide of pure vented frustration, anger, or fury.  I also enjoy occasionally peppering my conversation with certain less-than-savory words to add emphasis or shock value.  I hate to say it, because my mother definitely did not raise me this way, but I adore swearing.  I like it almost as much I like smoking, and that says a whole hell of a lot.


Of course, I am going to try again this year to curb my language, and at the moment, I am hopeful about it being successful.  I am always hopeful because I couldn't live without the idea of things (and me) constantly moving toward something better than what currently exists. I also have other resolutions that I will attempt this year.  I believe those will see more success than the no-profanity resolution because truthfully, they concern deeper, more meaningful issues in my life and I am willing to expend more energy and effort upon them.  


At the end of each day, when I lay my head on the pillow and review what I have done, I will not care so much that I let an f-bomb fly if I can prove that I remained dedicated to the more important vows I make.this year.  I resolve to be more patient, be healthier both mentally and physically, be more generous with my time and be more aware of the world around me. I resolve to move from a place of love in all things I do, so giving up swearing kind of pales in comparison to those. Hell...I think I may resolve this year not to resolve that particular habit at all.  Sounds like a damn skippy plan to me!

The damn-skippy, penguin-hat-wearing, profanity-loving, mixed up me.
Happy New Year!