When a woman gives birth for the first time, it is then that she fully and truly understands the depth of her own mother's love for her. Usually a phone call to your mother with apologies for all the worry and stress you caused her soon follows the birth of your first child because it is then that you really get what it means to be a mom. I believe the bond between mother and daughter actually strengthen due to this shared knowledge of motherhood, and it makes it that much harder when you lose your mother.
Children comfort you in times of grief by their mere presence, their joy, and their insatiable need for you. I am grateful to have had my first child when my mother passed away seven years ago. Abigail, more so than anyone or anything, helped me deal with my mother's death in a healthy, meaningful way and my daughter's needs refused to allow me to be consumed by sadness. I will forever be grateful to her for that.
Today is the anniversary of my mother's passing and while I celebrate her life everyday by remembering her, doing things and saying things just the same way she did, sharing my love and affection the way she taught me to, and feeling her presence very close to me, I am missing her so much this year. I wanted to honor my mother in this entry because she truly was the finest person I have ever known.
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| My Amazing Mother Myrum Mae Mayfield Whitaker |
My mother, gifted in so many ways, entered the world on August 19, 1940. Beautiful, intelligent, kind, generous, loving and wise just barely begin to describe her. She gave of herself freely and did not ask for much in return. Her joy came from seeing other people happy and content. Her happiest moments occurred when other people smiled because of something she said or did, and I cannot think of anyone else who could match her generosity of spirit.
I hold happy memories of my mother, even the ones where we fussed and argued. I thumb through them like a photo album and hold them close to my heart. My memories keep her near to me and my family and I feel her presence on a daily basis. In trying to encapsulate in a few lines the meaning and impact of my mother's life, I am certain I will not be able to do her justice, but I am trying anyway. She was so many things to so many people....a friend, a confidant, a source of tremendous love and acceptance, a wife, a mother, and a grandmother. The one overriding theme to her life, however, was being a teacher in the purest sense of the word. She taught our family to love unconditionally and to be unafraid of expressing our affection and admiration for one another. She taught us how to be supportive, open-minded, generous and kind. She daily lived the lessons of respecting life in all its forms and valuing ourselves for who we are. My mother taught us to appreciate the history of things, both big and small, personal and shared. She taught us to live fully and behave confidently even when we felt little inside. Above all else, she taught us what it means to be well-loved and taught us how to love well. These are her two greatest gifts to our family.
Professionally, my mother taught high school social studies. She not only gave her students a tremendous education in content areas, but also in life as well. She gifted them with lessons that fostered responsibility, self-discipline, self-respect, maturity and confidence. She loved her students for who they were and for whom they would become, and saw in each of them a uniqueness and cherished them for it. Her high standards and expectations helped them to grow and mature, and regardless of how they behaved, her students knew at the end of the day, someone genuinely cared for them as individuals.
My mother died doing what she loved during a season she adored on December 15, 2004. She loved all things Christmas...Santa Claus, gift-giving, family time, and the sense that for a few days each year that people became kinder and softer and more charitable. She had a heart attack at school and passed away in her classroom in just a few minutes, but it is a comfort to me that she left this life living fully until the last moment. She wouldn't have wanted it any other way. And in my house, my mother's way was usually THE WAY. I still laugh at the saying, "If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." It reminds me of her, and I am blessed that she lived a happy, full, and loving life because I am able to do that too, and I credit her with giving me that ability and motivation to make this life the best that I can. I love you, Momma, and I always will.
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