Wheezing on My Sister's Gig:The Power of Alone Time

This morning I took my nine year old daughter to the church to drop her off for her week at camp up in the mountains.  This is the first time she's been away from home for an extended period of time, and of course I began missing her before she even left the parking lot.  My nephew went to the same camp as well and I met up with my sister's family. Afterwards, instead of returning home, my two boys and I went to my sister's place to hang out for awhile.

Before I get into the heart of my tale, a  little backstory is necessary. My sister and I are very close.  We are one year apart in ages. My father being in the military, we moved often when we were children so we automatically turned to each other for friendship and support.  We are best friends and as one of my other friends like to tease, we practically live in eachother's back pocket.  We went to the same college, live in the same town a block apart, got married the same year, and our families go on vacation together.  If you become my friend, you have to take my sister too and vice versa.  We are a package deal.  So, you can imagine, much to my surprise, how I felt when my sister made pointed hints for me to leave.

How is it possible that she did not want my gloriously entertaining company this afternoon?  Did I offend in some fashion?  Had I made a faux pas of gargantuan proportions which caused her to shun my charming, witty person? What could possibly have made her not want to spend the day with me and my kids?  Could she possibly have wanted alone time? 

So, after quite a bit of teasing and strenuous efforts at trying to induce guilt in her for telling me to go home, I left with the boys.  My feelings weren't hurt and I didn't mind.  This is primarily because I totally get needing, wanting, and craving alone time. 

As a mother, wife, sister, and daughter, activities, chores, and caretaking fill my days from start to finish.  I am almost never alone, except when I'm in the bathroom, and that's because I started locking the door after my third child was born.  I had way too many visitors in there and now the bathroom has become my impenetrable fortress and my sanctuary. My sister's situation is much the same and also requires her to constantly go, go, go.  She works outside the home, takes care of her two boys and her husband, and engages in hobbies that keep her constantly in the company of people.  This level of interaction can be both stimulating and draining.  Therefore, when the opportunity presents itself, alone time should be taken and thoroughly used.

Alone time allows a person to get back in touch with oneself, to rediscover all the wonderful things that he or she did, and felt, and thought when they had the time to do so. Being by oneself grants time for introspection and deep-thinking, engaging in personal hobbies that fill one with pleasure or joy, taking a delicious nap in the afternoon, or just doing the stuff that is only important, fulfilling, or necessary for oneself.  It is such a wonderful feeling to be free from responsibility and obligation to other people, whether they are your family, friends, or co-workers.  The liberating sensation created by being alone reenergizes the soul, especially if a person enjoys his or her own company.  An added benefit to having time for oneself is that when it ends, people generally enjoy spending time with friends and family more.  Alone time does not constitute a negative type of social isolation, but it fosters better relationships and a deeper appreciation for others.  I totally get why my sister kicked me out of her house with not so subtle hints, such as "Aren't you gone, yet?"

Once I get my five-year old and my three-year old to bed this evening, and my husband safely ensconced in his man cave with his cigar and movie, I plan on enjoying some serious alone time myself.  I am going to drink coffee, smoke cigarettes, read, and gorge on reality television.  I am looking forward to it already.