I've been thinking of the phrase, "It's all relative." People toss out this colloquialism all the time in reference to a variety of situations and circumstances to help them understand and appreciate others. Every person in this world maintains their own uinuqe perspective on their lives, the world around them, the people who share it with them and the events that happen to them. In essence, all people only see the world as it relates to themselves. This individual understanding cannot operate any other way, because our brains don't work in that fashion. Of course, people make attempts at trying to see situations from another person's viewpoint, and those of us who have a strong sense of empathy, generally do well this. However, most people really don't truly understand how someone else feels at any given moment. Occasionally, this lack of understanding can cause tension, negative feelings, and resentment. That's where the helpful term, "It's all relative" comes in to save the day.
My pondering of this statement and it's particular power at smoothing relations between people stems from a gathering of friends I hosted at my house Sunday afternoon. The four of us remain close and connected, although the busyness of our lives prevents us from seeing each other frequently. Months pass sometimes without us hearing from one another, except through the old-fashioned grapevine of gossip or more recently, facebook. Nonetheless, when we do make time to get together, we reconnect as if we had only visited the day before. The ease with which we talk and laugh and share amazes me each time we meet. I am lucky to have friends like these.
Usually our gatherings consist of light-hearted banter, a discussion of what's been happening in our respective lives, and if we are lucky, some salacious gossip. We drink gallons of coffee, eat deliciously bad-for-you snacks, and talk, talk, talk. Sunday's coffee klatch began in much the same manner, but then quickly devolved into a venting session for all of our respective stresses and problems. One of my friends currently maintains a job, 18 credit hours in college, and a host of extracurricular activities. Another friend works full time, takes care of her pets, and deals with her family. And my third friend is in the midst of a divorce, raising two children, and working full time as well. They all have their own set of stressors, but somehow it managed to turn into a competition of sorts as to whose life was the most difficult at that given moment. I mean, we all listen to one another, we make all the right empathetic murmurs, we even give advice, but I can hear the subtext in everyone's head. It goes something like this, "Ughh...why are they making a mountain out of a molehill? That's not so bad. They should trade with me for just one day and see what stress really feels like."
I am sure anyone reading this has had one or two of those thoughts in their head at some point when listening to a friend vent about frustration and stress. Be honest...we all entertain these ungenerous thoughts on occasion. We all think sometimes that our own personal struggles can be viewed objectively by any sentient person as being the worst, the hardest, the most difficult circumstances to ever exist. We become offended if they remotely think otherwise. At this point, remembering that " It's all relative," helps a person to step back and realize that though people stress over different situations and events, the effects of stress and the accompanying feelings and emotions are the same as his or her own.
This phrase, for me, allows for a greater appreciation of another's hardships and brings out my empathetic and supportive side. I use this phrase a lot because it is important to always remember that what might be true for oneself isn't necessarily the same truth for another. This realization helps foster peace between people, friendship, appreciation, and contentment. It's a great set of words, but an even better mindset and we should all remember to use these words regularly. I like my own personal theory of relativity very much because it makes my friendships stronger and my outlook more encompassing and understanding of all people. It also helps keep me in check too, and realize that sometimes what I consider to be overwhelming isn't really as tremendous as I feel it to be. I hope this entry gives a bit of clarity on why I appreciate this statement so much and why I value its use as much as I do, but if you don't, I understand because....."It's all relative."
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