Stupid Is As Stupid Does

I had a friend recently tell me that she felt as stupid as she could possibly feel regarding a certain situation in which she found herself.  She vented to me about how silly she believed some of her actions to be, and while I listened to her I realized that the old adage, "Stupid is as stupid does," really doesn't apply in most instances.  I, for one, think it is all about how a person frames the situation and from what perspective he or she views his or her actions.  If a person's intentions are pure, and one acts in a manner true to his or her motivations, then the behavior should never be perceived as stupid.  Unsuccessful, maybe.  Embarrassing, sometimes. Unsatisfying, most definitely. But never stupid.

Stupid means foolish, careless, vapid, obtuse and lacking intelligence.  Just because circumstances fail to go according to our plans doesn't make our intentions or our actions necessarily stupid.  As much as we humans would enjoy having control over our world, we do not have that luxury.  We have control over our own feelings, reactions, intentions, and behaviors, and that's it.  We are not responsible for anyone's actions but ourselves and thus we should not indulge in feeling stupid about situations over which we have no control. In a nutshell, never take one someone else's stupidity for your own.  If people consistently allow themselves to feel stupid when life runs amok, then they begin to inhibit their behaviors and even thoughts.  It's not a positive, growth-oriented way in which to live.

I am a firm believer in "nothing ventured, nothing gained."  Quite often our plans fail to reach fruition, but if we never put ourselves out there we never have opportunities for things to be successful either. We deny ourselves both the pleasure derived from successful ventures as well as the learning moments gained from failures. When the fear of appearing stupid curbs how we operate in life, we do not live fully.  Life takes detour after detour, and all we can do is follow along, hopefully enjoying the scenery on the way and learning something new.  

Each day, each moment, each situation in which we find ourselves constitutes an opportunity for growth, learning, self-control, and personal empowerment.  Allowing the self-negating feelings of stupidity and foolishness to overcome our sensibilities leaves no room learning and positive development. So, when my friend wrapped up her story and asked me if she appeared as stupid as she felt at that moment, I gave her a resounding "No!"  I told her to get over her bad self and just take the event as one big learning experience that would ultimately provide us quite a bit of laughter later in life while we reminisced in the old folks home. At that point, she punched me arm and declared, "Oh, stop being so stupid."  I punched her back, grinning all the while and said, "Stupid is as stupid does."