Unity of Purpose Knows Only Victory

A good friend of mine took this picture, and aside from the brilliant clarity and color, what captured my attention most was the sense of possibility the composition contained.  I love the idea of a road stretching out before me, turning on a curve so that I have no idea what could be ahead, but nonetheless eager to get there.

My fortieth birthday is coming up this Sunday and have been reflecting quite a bit about my life in general and this past year in particular. I thought this picture seemed appropriate for how my 39th year passed--full of curves and unknown destinations.  The past twelve months constituted one wild ride full of ups and downs, but one in which I learned a lot about myself.

I did things I never thought myself capable of doing.  I loved hard and lost hard this past year.  I stretched my ideas and explored new avenues of thought and action.  I hid away for awhile too, nursing wounds too deep to share with anyone.  I faced one of my biggest fears, that of losing my father, and I find that while I am not completely 100 percent okay, I am doing pretty damn well considering all the circumstances.  It's been an amazing year of discovery and of loss, of contraction and expansion, of accommodation and denial.  A year of dichotomies.  And even with all the chaos, the driving into unknown territory, I am all the better for it.

Much like the road in the picture, I am looking forward eagerly to what the upcoming year may bring me.  I feel like flying quickly down this road, savoring the sensation of forward momentum and enjoying the scenery along the way.  It's taken a good long while to recapture my sense of excitement and optimism regarding starting a new year of my life.  I am grateful to finally be feeling this way.  I spent much of the past month struggling with depression and a bone-deep sense of ennui.  My tried and true methods of pulling myself out of the dumper didn't work and this failure only intensified my negative feelings.  Then I woke one morning and decided that I couldn't continue indulging in such a level of self-pity and misery and just got on with the business of living, forcing myself to say "yes" when I wanted to say "no", putting myself in situations where opportunities for enjoyment were guaranteed, and making a conscious choice to be positive.  That's another thing I learned this year, that the old saying of my father is absolutely true, "Unity of purpose knows only victory."  If one focuses all his or her will power in one direction, success happens.

I think that will be my motto for the upcoming year....I will have tremendous unity of purpose.  I am going to continue learning, growing, and gaining forward momentum and accomplishing those things I know I either want or need to achieve.  I am going to drive down this road wherever it may lead and make sure that forty is fun, fabulous, and fulfilling.  Watch out world, here I come!