Friday, September 2, 2011

Soundtrack for Life

One of the major problems with being an introspective person is that one has very little respite from constant self-judgement and evaluation.  On one hand, it can be a good thing because viewing your actions, attitudes and behavior help continually to refine them.  On the other hand, a person can think entirely too much and become bogged down in self-criticism.  I hate making myelf feel stupid about something I've said or done or even not done, especially when it is innocent and inoccuous.  Suffice to say, it bums me out.

In order to provide down time from thinking too much, I resort to two very useful tactics....music and reading.  I have been an avid reader from the moment I could pick up a book and decipher the language.  Books provide an ever-ready escape into another life, another time, an entirely different world.  I can not only shut off my brain, but I can shut out all the stressors in my life as well.  My poor husband has to repeat every third word he says because I concentrate so intensely when reading that I don't hear him.  It drives him crazy, but I merely contend he should be used to it by now and just repeat every third word from the start of any conversation. 

I like to read historical novels, thrillers, non-fiction, poetry, some fantasy and some science fiction.  If it is entertaining or educational, I will read it.  I have even been known to resort to instruction manuals when I've read everything in the house.  I will actually go through book withdrawal. Once, my husband went to the bookstore right before it closed when I was pregnant with our third child, just because I was craving a good book.  No tacos at midnight for me...just literature.  I sometimes wonder, though, if reading so much is a good thing to do, though because it is a solitary activity for me. It quite possibly could be entirely too much escapism.

The other respite from stress and over-thinking things is music...a love I recently rediscovered.  Much like my taste in books, my musical tastes span the spectrum.  I enjoy classical, country, rock, pop, rap, and punk.  Nothing compares to a good song to banish bad feelings or mild depression.  Music truly does sooth the savage beast for me.  It has a calming, salutary effect and I appreciate it more and more with each passing day.  I've enjoyed music all my life, but until recently I never noticed quite how much it helps elevate my mood.  If I am listening to something upbeat, beautiful, or profound, it makes me feel those ways.  Music is more powerful, in my mind, than reading. The mere utterance of that statement constitutes, for me at least, a shocking thing to say.  The reason I say this primarily stems from the fact that music makes for action and an active participation in its enjoyment.  I need more active participation in my life.

So, I think then, that I will go turn on the radio and actively participate in my own day.  No more passivity from me.  No more waiting around for something to happen and no more escapes to somewhere things do happen. I am going to go and make things happen myself--with my own personal soundtrack to my life.  You should do the same.

1 comment: